If you missed it, here’s why I’m writing A Year of Delights
A Year of Delights Day 3 – When a Tea is More Than Just a Tea
It’s rare these days that I leave the house without a baby in tow. Today I was off to do something that I couldn’t take baby along for, so I dropped him off at my dad’s.
It was a strange feeling driving away, empty car seat in the back. Turning off the backseat camera. Sitting in silence. Not needing to sing at the top of my lungs to entertain a baby who hates the car seat most days. Reveling in the utter freedom of being alone, while acknowledging the emptiness.
First it was an adjustment having Zayn live outside my body. My body felt empty without him. Now, I feel even emptier without him, but it’s important for us both.
For me to have a life outside of him. To remember who I am on my own.
For him to know all the people who love him and to find safety in a net wider than just Bassam and I.
So I did the things solo me finds delight in. Listening to a podcast. Stopping for an iced tea.
I didn’t even really want an iced tea, but it’s sooo annoying to make quick stops with a baby and sooo easy to do it solo, so I took advantage.
I savored every drop of that peach jasmine iced tea. It was unsweetened, but tasted sweet thanks to the bliss of alone time.
I also washed my hair that morning, delighting in the smell and feel of freshly clean hair.
Who am I?
Oh hi. I am the me without baby.
It’s nice to delight in her every once in awhile.
You can find all of A Year of Delight entries HERE.